| Sonali Panda |
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| March 19, 2009 at 11:45 PM |
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| #1 |
The article "The MIL Factor" in your Counselling section speaks of a dilemma faced by many women. However, there are exceptions, and I want to write a few lines about one such person. The person is Mrs.Rama Panda, my mother in law. I address her as "Ma", and she is a mother in every sense of the word. I am a non Oriya and did not know much about Orissa or its culture when I got married. However, my mother in law made sure that I never felt left out in any family gathering or function.She took pains to explain rituals and customs, and encouraged me to participate as much as I wished to.
She has been a great source of suport in my career as well as in the management of my domestic responsibilities. I automatically turn to her for advise in most situations, even if they relate to my work.
The most beautiful quality of Ma is that she never imposes her views or opinions on any person. She has set her own standards and lives according to them. She leads the way through example in the way she leads her own life. i have never heard her speak ill of any person or spend time in idle gossip.
This little article is my way of expressing my gratitude to an exceptional lady, who is the perfect answer to the "MIL Factor".
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| soumya priyadarsini |
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| March 20, 2009 at 11:25 PM |
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| #2 |
u r very lucky sonali. i wish all bahus were as lucky. why can't all MILs be like mrs. rama panda? i realy felt great reading your impression about her. |
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| Sashmita |
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| #3 |
you are so lucky( as said by soumya). Because you hav found a MIL , who is one in a million. Really........ |
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| S. Maharana |
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| June 07, 2009 at 02:02 PM |
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| #4 |
I would also say how fortunate I am to have a similarly wonderful and warm hearted mother in law. I'm not even Indian, let alone from Orissa. Yet my Oriya mother-in-law (who moved to Bombay 40 years ago) has made me feel so welcome in the family when I married her son. She encourages me to take part in all family functions and festivals, but has never forced her customs upon me. She lets me be myself. She's an absolute treasure.  As a result, it's really motivated me to adapt to the Oriya culture and learn about it.
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| Sneha |
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| July 09, 2009 at 08:31 AM |
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| #5 |
If we dont have such a nice MIL- what are the things that one can do to still maintain peace.
My MIL nitpicks on everything; She is ever satisfied with herself and her son- but always will find things to find fault with me. Her son does not listen to any rule (like not eating non veg on Thurs/ sat etc) but she wants me to stop cooking non veg on those days. I am a vegetarian and can stop non veg on all days ideally but then my husband will go out and eat. He will ask at the dinner table "Is there any fish/ meat today?" . It becomes very difficult to manage an MIL who has built a fortress of her rules (rational and irrational) and a son who does not like to conform. I am trapped in the middle.
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| Sasmita |
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| #6 |
Hi Sneha,
If your husband does not obey all this rule your mother in low has forced then it's easy for you.You can follow your rule.
If it is against your husband then it will be as per your MIL.So tell your husband that this is your mother's wish.tell her about your concerns.
If it is against your MIL then tell her that this is your son's wish.
Your problem solved
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